dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize