he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
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I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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