I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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