Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
