well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
