hotel room ftw
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you traded sex for a burrito?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The dick lei will go down in squad history
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
