Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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