yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
