just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'd cum for enchiladas.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
