so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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