I wish I could teleport
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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