Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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