Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
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You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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