Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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