i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
