I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
