I want to stick my p in your. b.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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