Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you traded sex for a burrito?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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