okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
