wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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