I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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