I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize