this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
