If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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