I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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