great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
