you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
