I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
