I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
