if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
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