I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
