First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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