Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
