nut hugger
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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