Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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