dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
