I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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