Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
