dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
