honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
