Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
