I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
