Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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