So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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