Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
