no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I woke up under a house in Key West
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