Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
