She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
