I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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