you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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