every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
my poor anus
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
The air taste purple.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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