Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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