i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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