Sober January is a disaster.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Be still, my beating vagina.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
as a side note pls kill me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
