whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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