So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
