why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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