How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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