i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
