I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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