You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
