Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
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the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
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Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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