it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
