perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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