She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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